Category: humour
If I were an Elf
If I were an elf,
Thought the boy,
I could play with the toys
Spread laughter and joy
And always just be myself
©moonbiscuitblog
Doors
The Cheshire Cat
And the Mad Hatter
Got together
For a jolly good natter
One took the ladder
The other floated
The Cat wearing
His famous grin
Politely enquired
“Shall we go in?”
“No, no,” cried the hatter
“Surely you must know
That’s not what doors are for”
©moonbiscuitblog
29 October 2018
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The Clock
“Tick tock” said the clock
No it didn’t
The clock’s stopped
It’s the one in the kitchen
High on the wall
Now it’s not working
Not working at all
So no point in looking
But how many times
Has my brain forgot?
A glance here
A peek there
There is no sound
Stop turning around
I just can’t bear it…
I’ve taken it down!
©moonbiscuitblog
End of the Story
“..so the climax to our story is
The Evil Emperor (or Empress, I forget) exploded from the sheer inflammable toxicity of their nature.
The peace-loving rainbow-pooing unicorns set up a nationwide commune that everyone was happy to join.
I know, right?
Who saw that coming?”
©moonbiscuitblog
Bread
Mindful following
The recipe
Careful measuring
Ingredients
Push the button
For the size
One for the colour
Fingers to calculate
The number of hours
‘Til bread was needed
Next morning, Myka
Calls out “oh no”
Which button did I not press
The one with ON on
©moonbiscuitblog
The Vampire and the Sun
Pale vampiric face
Gazing at the bright sun’s rays
Missing ancient times
©moonbiscuitblog
Red Kettle
We have a shiny red kettle
With a shiny silver lid
Being a bit clumsy yesterday
Hurrying to put on said lid
I quite dramatically missed
It skidded down my finger
Taking my valued skin with it
Just to make matters worse
Only as I was stemming
The bleeding
Did I start reading
The calendar just above it
With the incorrect ill-timed words
“Any day is much better
Once you’ve put the kettle on”
©moonbiscuitblog
July 2018
Persona
Which persona
Are you using
Right now?
She used to deny
To herself
Quite loudly
That she owned more
Than one
But time spent
With her siblings
Brings out
Sulky petulance
With certain
In-laws the
Mischievous elf
With authority
The rebel
With parents
The patient saint
Manifests briefly
Unconvincingly
The schemingly mean
Appears
In the depths
Of revengeful
Midnight
©moonbiscuitblog
July 2018
ShakeDown
*whisper*
I don’t really know
What a shakedown is
Or where I’d go
To get one
Is it something you buy
Or something to try
Do you see it
Reveal it
Or feel it
Drink it or think it
Do you do it
Or have it done
Or is life better
Without one
©moonbiscuitblog
12 June 2018
Pondering
Pondering on
A perfect world
All metaphorical
Blue skies and sunshine
Everyone always
Getting along
Then
Realisation-
We may need
An irritant
A little pain
Something about which
To always complain
After all
You need the grit
To make the pearl
©moonbiscuitblog
Holiday Chat
You’re all I ever need
He said
I just want you
And our love
So when going
Away for a short
Holiday
How come he needed
His ipad, his ipod
His phone and his Kindle
Was addicted to
Snapchat,
WhatsApp,
And Twitter
The one person
He wouldn’t
Sit down and chat to
….was her
©moonbiscuitblog
26 May 2018
Family
If you met your family
Far from home
And didn’t already know them
Do you think
You’d like them enough
To ask them out for a drink?
©moonbiscuitblog
10 December 2017
Kitten
The bewildered kitten frantically
Searched through YouTube for some
Attainable role models
©moonbiscuitblog
April 2018 Read More…